Would you have dated the girl who was once fat with acne?

Growing up I was always labelled “the fat kid” because I had a brother who was super skinny. Any form of adult gathering growing up with my parents, always resulted in picking how fat I was than my older brother. I was abnormally bigger and taller than majority of the kids (my last post you can see me vs my class gang height).

My heaviest I’ve ever been was at 70kg at the age of 13ish. That was the time when I smiled, you could see a double chin right under it.

I was always called fat throughout school and kids would always make fun of me. Then worse came, the last two years of primary school I started developing acne. My face would get pimples and I would have a huge pimple on my nose that lasted for so long. My parents didn’t know anything about pimple treatment and they brought this random medicine which was meant to be for your eyes when its puffy. They never experienced breaking out before, and if they did, it would naturally go away. My pimple on my nose was huge and they applied this oily ointment on my nose and it just developed worse and worse. The pimple stayed for 2 months or more and left me a big scar which I still have today on my nose. People in school would always run up and look at my face or just be like “how you get that pimple”, “its so huge” or just stare at me until I looked at them and then proceed again as I pretend not to notice. This pimple life continued into high school for another 3 years until I learnt how to avoid it from appearing again. Then one random day I got serious bad pimples around my chin and started to affect my lymph nodes. I was prescribed on antibiotics (doxy) and I had to depend on it for my acne to calm down. I took doxy for maybe around 3-4 years on and went off it until I turned 18.

I was super ugly as fk in high school. Honestly I had acne, I was fat and big (not curvy JUST BIG), wore my skirt below my knees but above my calves, had serious bushy eyebrows which were thick at the corners (basically 2 scalene triangles). I’m not even joking. I was super god damn ugly. While I’m writing this, some people reading think it’s bad to think this way and have a definition of ugly. To me, I felt ugly and I was unhappy of myself. I truly wanted to change but I couldn’t.

So until end of year 10 when I was about to enter my senior year I decided to lose weight. I lost a whooping 15kg in around a year or so. I went on extreme strict diet and exercised so much like my entire day was exercise exercise exercise. Then I did my brows and first of all, they were paper thin brows and I cried so much but they grew in 3 months and now theyre currently happy brows. So I changed so much when I entered year 11.

People would be like “wow you look so pretty” “so skinny”  all these compliments I have never received. People started noticing me.It’s funny how I’m the exact same person as before but not physically. But now all of a sudden you become so noticed because of your fken damn appearance.

I personally don’t fall for people physically but I want that emotional love. Someone who will love me for my personality and just adore my physical appearance later. That’s the love I want. I hate when people approach me, like no one would have approached me if I was the opposite of what I am today.